Exotic dancers know how to market themselves and nothing promotes the booty better than a catchy yet familiar stage name. Strippers name themselves after popular cars, car manufacturers name automobiles after Mexican demons, Italian waterfalls and German weather patterns. We have all stuffed a dollar into the thong of a Mercedes and who hasn't vomited during a lapdance from Lexus? I have had my hand on a Porsche's ass more than my ass has actually been in a Porsche. When I see an ad for a Dodge Dakota I am not thinking of how to pull 300 hay bails up a mountain, I am dreaming about a freakish brunette gyrating to Funky Cold Medina.

So if GM really wants to save themselves and if Chrysler has any realistic chance of keeping up with Toyota, they need to spend less time in the boardroom and more time in the champagne room. Next years upscale sedan should be named Velvet and who wouldn't buy a red sports convertible called the Cookie. The push for eco cars would be better accepted if consumers could get 60 mpg's from a Daisy, Cherry or Bunny. Caution should be taken when choosing which clubs to visit and at what time. Detroit exec's are advised to travel to Chicago to avoid sure losers like the minivan named Shaquilla or a compact called Camlliana. Visiting a club during the day shift will afford the marketing department the chance to chat with the breasts of fantasy past to gauge the probability of success. Here they can see how Fierro, Allente and Probe have faired.