Amanda Beard vs Yelena Isinbayeva
American Swimmer Amanda Beard vs Russian pole vaulter (giggle giggle) Yelena Isinbayeva. After
the Olympics Beard is hanging out at the Kokomo Bar in Beijing when 5 hour energy approaches her for an endorsement contract.
Isinbayeva is a few tables over warming up to the coach of the Latvian lacrosse team when she notices the buzz around Beard.
Feeling slighted she mumbles something about Beard smelling like a sardine while taking a sip of Tsingtao. Beard is able to
hear the comment through her gills and tells the Russian vaulter to " go wax your pole, both of them". Isinbayeva
stands and responds " I finish beer and I catch stinkfish on my pole". Beard becomes enraged and lunges towards
the medal winner and east meets west in a spectacle not seen since Debbie Does Moscow.
Fiona Apple vs Holly Madison
At an after party following a JZ concert Finoa Apple and Holly Madison end up in adjacent stalls
in the ladies room. Apple is bound up by the three peas she had eaten earlier in the day and in an effort to relax herself
begins singing her hit Criminal. When Madison recognised the tune she begins singing along and remarks that she has always
been a fan of Jewel. Apple then introduced herself as the creator of the song and then Holly remembers that Fiona used to
date magician David Blaine. Madison can't help but to brag about being with Chris Angel to whom she refers to as "
The Ultimate Illusionist". Finoa is quick to remind Holly that her ex, David Blaine , paved the way for the likes of
Chris Angel. Madison defends her man by stating " I can't see how you think sitting on a block of ice for three days
is impressive since your career has been frozen for a decade". Fiona quickly pulls up her knickers, and rushes out to
kick in the door of Madisons stall. Luckily Madison isn't wearing panties under her skirt and jumps up to greet the intruder.
The two wrestle on the dirty floor until being broken up by Lil Wayne
